Isle mania seems to be the best name for this blog atm. I don't use it, I rarely post and when I do its either rants like this or Aussie curves posts.
I'm losing it.
I have so much going on in my head I can go all day without talking to anyone, I like being by myself but I hate being alone. Go figure. I talk to my family all the time but its not the same. Nikki has been awesome, we have been hanging out a lot more than we ever have before and its been really great.
I went to headspace, I've got so much going on in my head I needed to get it out and where better than a counsellor who can't tell anyone anything.
I went in with a cloud over my head and came out to the sun shining and the birds singing. She referred me to Anglicare Pathways, I cant say i ever knew what anglicare did before. Ultimately helping people to live their best, happiest life. Who wouldn't love that.
They have a program call pathways where people who identify with mental illness (anxiety) can come together and do fun things to engage in the community and the best part... its for free...
I missed urban farming this morning as the kids were going absolutely mental while nick was in the shower, usually I don't have to get up but I had to tell Mr 3 to stop scraping my umbrella along the walls, tell Mr 5 to stop yelling when talking to people and all of them to stop jumping and running in the house as their room is above mine and it makes my windows shake.
and so because I then went back to sleep after they left I woke up at 10:30... when urban farming was starting.... fuck! I'm looking forward to trapeze coming up in a few weeks.
But before that I am going to Melbourne tomorrow for Curvy Couture Road show which I am very excited about, i need a change of scenery and I get to see my sister, i miss hugs. Packing it though because I never have money and when I do have some I want to save it. I started cleaning once a week for a guy with a black lab... ewww soo much fur. But its money so I'll deal. Centerlink stuffed me around by not sending or telling me to print out a rent cert so I'm $90 down so that sucks.
I miss my friends, Ainslie had a baby girl Matilda and I don't know when I'll get to see her and that makes me so sad, I wish I could be there to help. Kathryn is being all grown up and seems like life in on track for her. Steph is doing Auditions and haven't spoken to her since she got back from the states. Emma is coming to visit me in winter and I'm so excited I could burst. Lauren, I need to pick up the damn phone. Dids seems like things are going well enough with her bubby Jett and I don't know how she manages uni at the same time. Nat is struggling with tafe and kids and I wish I could be there to help. Dani has finally opened up to me about things and I wish I could be there for her too! So many places all at once for everyone else, I know where I want to be... but where do I want to be. I think I know what I want. I want to be an old man with a furniture workshop teaching people how to make things... .but how the fuck do I get there. I need to learn all the tools, skills, machines... I have to find away to turn that into making money, do I make stuff for other people, do I just become a maker, will I ever find creativity that I'm not scared of being judged on, I want to go to Europe but am I just trying to run away from the fact that I can't make my life interesting here but then I go to the counsellor and she listens to what I've done in a brief overview of my life and says I've done a lot. are my standards too high, should I not be constantly entertained with exciting things, all I think is money money money... how do I get to where I want to go. where do I want to go and what will I do when I get there? These are the questions I ask myself over and over again... and then a relationship...
its been over 2 years since I split from josh and I'm finally ok with it... would love to find out why he did what he did but I don't think he even knows. but there is always that niggling feeling of I wasn't enough to keep him interested what happens if I get into a relationship here. I don't want distance, I want someone who is here but do it, what happens if they never want to leave tassie, what if they don't want to travel what is they are at uni and graduate before me and leave, what happens if I leave before them, what happens if the both graduate and we want to move different places, do I do what I want or compromise, am I ready to compromise after doing it for so many years... and yet I also felt like I was leading josh because he never had an ambition, who quits a job they got handed after 3 fucking days! harden up dick head.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Monday, December 9, 2013
Aussie Curves: Maxi Skirt
I very rarely post, but as I happened to buy a Maxi skirt last week and I took Danielle's photos I thought I may as well get her to take some of me too.
I don't usually wear maxi skirts as I find I like to wear them high, then my ankles get cold and I'd prefer the length to be longer and touch the floor but we can't always get what we want.
Skirt: Blue Jade
Singlet: Cotton On
Bag: Danielle's
Flats: Naughty Monkey
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
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