Lately I've been off with the fairies, dealing with emotions being forced upon me by old memories.
This has effected my sleeping patterns, uni and overall attitude.
I feel like I've talked so much for someone else that I cant even be bothered to talk about it anymore.
I can't even have a good cry like I really want to.
My housemate broke up with her boyfriend, it's her first break up and she is taking it hard, helping her through it has been hard because I find myself bringing up my relationship with Josh as examples to what I've been telling her.
I then get sad thinking about him, what he did to me, how I can't trust him and then think about how I've been single for 18 months and that's the longest I've been single since I started dating at 16, I'm now 24.
I'm torn between wanting to have someone special in my life, being able to trust them and then there's the fact I live in Tasmania which so far there is no hope in finding someone I find attractive that lives in Launceston and is in my age bracket. Then I'm torn with the idea am I setting myself up for disappoint me if I do meet someone and they want to stay in Tassie because I know that's not what I want.
My plan for myself is to finish my Bachelor, save up some money possibly moving to melb our sydney to do so then go to UK on a dual passport of ancestry visa. If I can do an exchange that would be amazing but, get over there, learn from designer/ makers and eventually set up my own workshop to teach my own course in furniture design. How amazing would that be??
There is a course by David Savage in the UK that I would love to do... but I don't have a handy $12,000 atm sadly.
So here I am with 4 weeks left of semester, I have to make an Aedicule by Friday (wk 12) Table by Monday (wk 13) Hat Rack by Friday (wk 13) Drawing Folio by Friday (wk 14) then a slide test for history on Thursday (wk 15) then the following Monday I fly out to Townsville for a month for the Wedding.
I spoke to a lady at Uni and I told her how my housemates break up was effecting the rest of the house and that It's put us all behind. So thankfully th first assessment due this friday has been pushed back over the weeked til the monday so it takes a bit of the strain off.
I'm happy with how my appearance is though so thats good, except the fact I seem to have either lost weight around my tummy because I can fit 2 fists into my waist band on my jeans... or we need to start using the dryer so they will shrink again. I spent too much money on my trip to melbourne so I am not buying new jeans for a long time, also because centrelink doesn't permit money for life.
Back to the drawing board for me... quite literally... I already said I had a drawing folio due!
I am so glad we were able to talk today.love you to infinity
ReplyDeletelove you x
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